A Connection

Last week, I went to REI, the sporting outfitters, for a lecture by a father and son, both experienced mountain climbers. I was drawn to it not only for the account of their adventures, but for the story behind the treks: the speakers were a father and son, who shared how their experience of mountain climbing helped to repair their fractured relationship. The father had read My Old Man and the Sea: A Father and Son Sail Around Cape Horn by David and Daniel Hays. It is an old, out-of-print book about how an experience in the wilds of nature deepened a father–son bond. Inspired by the book, he proposed to his son that they take a trip together to climb Mt. Cotopaxi in Ecuador. The son agreed, and they trained and prepared for months, though things were still tense between them, and they barely spoke during this period. However, once they were in the unforgiving elements on the mountain, their dependence on each other became existential and gradually led to a breakthrough. It was in the high-altitude, sub-zero temperatures of Ecuador that the long-iced-over feelings between them began to defrost. Since then, the two have been on many adventure trips together. I spoke with the son after the talk, and he said it was his father’s encouragement that led him to eventually reach the peak of Mt. Everest on his own and to establish a business guiding others to the Everest summit.

Listening to them tell their story reinforced what I have always known – that finding the right path to communicate with a loved one is not always obvious or easy, but it is essential. Even in the absence of nature’s furies, a situation may seem hopeless and the conditions impossible, but the next step may be the one that leads to a genuine connection and reconciliation.