Months ago, when a subscriber called the Mountain Messenger office, she mentioned to Ryan that she missed my faith-based “Be Encouraged” column, last published roughly six years ago under my previous name, Collier. I was surprised someone even remembered. Editor Don Russell was the first to put my thoughts to print, running the column between 2014 and 2018. His edits once spared me the humiliation of incorrectly referencing the “10 Commandments” as “12”. Don caught the daft error – born from a deficient memory to anything number-related.

For what I did openly share in those four years about my faith, life, family, and experiences in the 100-plus columns written, I was humbled that many locals vocalized their receptiveness and appreciation for my forthright reflections. I still have a card from Judge Pangman’s wife that she mailed with kind sentiments after reading one particular Be Encouraged column. Readers understood that the lens through which I view the world as it relates to my faith in God will always be from the standpoint of a “black sheep of a pastor’s child” as my mother (is) and father (was) an ordained minister. In my rebellious state, I have proudly hailed as being from the “south side” of the Kingdom – but I’m in the Kingdom nonetheless. As Johnny Cash stated, “I’m part good. I’m part bad, but I’m redeemed.” Those are my thoughts exactly.

In some ways, it would be a challenge to resume this column frequently, as much of my reflections on spiritual matters pertaining to my fumbling life of faith have been poured into my new book of memoirs, Amazing. It reflects on life in boarding school, college, the military, the corporate world, and life in the mountains- the best and worst times. My book is in the final editing stages, and I plan to self-publish it sometime this year.

I can offer folks, like the subscriber who talked to Ryan, a monthly submission. However, it would be appropriate to bring those who followed my Be Encouraged column in yesteryears up to speed as much has changed in my life — a life that I openly shared with readers and used triumphs and failures as an example to encourage folks in the faith.

A great deal transpired after my last Be Encouraged submission to the Mess in 2018, and I began treading water in turbulent currents at home. Then, I was smack dab in the middle of a tumultuous divorce process in a tiny town famous for quickly forming opinions about the affairs of others when the commentators are clueless about what goes on behind closed doors. I’m not sure who said, “Be careful when judging someone about the choices they made – when you don’t know what options they had to choose from,” but thank you.

While some believe in “karma,” I adhere to a Biblical “reap what you sow” mentality. So I’m not going to lie; I somewhat felt I was owed a peaceful second divorce from a Sierra County deputy because this is EXACTLY what I gave my first husband -– a pilot after he dumped me for a stunningly beautiful woman while working for American Airlines.

Some may remember previously written reflections on “Pilot husband,” who wanted out after seven years together, and maybe it was pride. Still, I wasn’t about to sing a rendition of Jolene from Dolly Parton. If you love someone and they want to leave, you let them go. I didn’t get bitter; I got better. Not only was I civil and accommodating in the divorce process to said pilot, but I also ignored my uncle’s advice in seeking alimony. Sometimes, collecting alimony is proper and necessary. But we all know how many times it comes down to plain greed. Greed is ugly. I may be a lot of things, good or bad, but one thing I’m not - is greedy. God honored this refusal to pounce on his cash, and my company promoted me from being an analyst at a large corporation on the East Coast and relocated me to California. Honoring my first husband’s desire for a divorce was a walk in the park. It is surreal how easy and painless the entire process was.

I read somewhere, “How someone is treated in the divorce process is usually the same way they were treated in the marriage.” This observation made sense as I had to claw my way out of my second marriage. It was ugly and full of unnecessary drama. Enough said!

Showing up to the Sierra County Superior Courthouse to have your private affairs broadcast in open court is not for the faint of heart. The only solace offered to combat the angst of sitting next to someone I’d rather not, in a courtroom few wish to enter, was the demeanor of the judicial officer presiding over my case – Commissioner Jason LaChance.

Our court seems okay with sitting all parties together at the same table, like a scene from the painting of the “Last Supper.” Surely, this does not bode well on the psyche of many, depending on the hell one has already endured before arriving at court, only to be forced to sit inches away from someone who has betrayed them or vice versa, or worse. Fortunately, despite this logistical seating nightmare wreaking havoc on my nervous system, there was stabilization in my blood pressure thanks to Commissioner LaChance’s peaceful tone and choice of words as he made inquiries and remarks and issued his rulings.

Because of the calming nature of Commissioner LaChance – I was transported outside of my anxiety-stricken body, and I quickly forgot all the trepidation I felt sitting at that long, shared table. His handling of the case was an “out-of-body experience.” I don’t know how else to describe it because God knew I needed someone like him out of all the possible judicial officers who could have handled my case. His spirit and energy exuded peace and civility and echoed a firm reassurance that he would give a just and fair ruling. One may think this is an “over the top” description of a court experience. But every day that I tried to leave that marriage, I felt like I was trying to push and climb my way out of a wrecked and totaled car that smashed into the side of a mountain. By the time I was finally in court, I was an exhausted, empty shell of a woman who weighed sixty pounds less than she does currently, thanks to all the stress. LaChance being who he is and presiding over my case meant everything in sustaining any remaining morale or dignity in those moments in open court.

His amiable personality, complimenting his understanding of the law, may be why 30 other judges are endorsing LaChance for the open judge seat in our county. His judgment on custody and alimony issues would affect the next thirteen years of my life. LaChance has my endorsement for the open judge seat in our county because his impact on my life was personal but, most importantly – positive during my most vulnerable time. Subsequently, I recounted this experience in Chapter 16 of my book Amazing.

A new season ushered in, and on July 4, 2020, on the Hospital Bridge in Downieville, I married a kind, hard-working man, Patrick. This marriage, I believe, was the last ceremony of this nature conducted by local Pastor Bernie Stringer before his shockingly untimely death. Death seems always to be conspiring in some form in these mountains, whether figuratively or literally, and it would come again for a true friend, the best man at my wedding to Pat – a beloved community servant – Shaun Price.

In June of 2022, to the horror and dismay of many, Shaun took his last breath, falling off the side of a mountain in a freak accident while on his quad. Shaun was also kind and incredibly generous with his time and resources. We supported our mutual friend in Israel, Ben Goldstein, by donating funds to have trees planted through Ben’s foundation, www.unitywarriors.com, and help redeem the land God gave the Jewish people. Ben’s organization also provides supplies urgently needed by Israel Defense Forces soldiers. I had hoped to travel to Israel with Shaun and hang out with Ben for a day, plant some trees, and deliver supplies to some IDF soldiers. Shaun will not be with me on that plane to Israel. And this is life!

Then there was a season of chaos dealing with three malevolent souls, which provided a humongous opportunity to become more like Jesus instead of ending up in the Sheriff’s blotter for slashing tires or worse (revenge, for the first time in adulthood was extremely tempting…but by the grace of God…)

These are the hits we take. I have often written about how gratitude is a powerful response to whatever life throws our way. When I’m in a rut, I still make lists of everything for which I’m thankful no matter how big or small, from joining the staff at the Mess on October 31, 2022, to large bags of Rooster Feed available at the Sierra Valley Ranch and Feed Store, (I love throwing the seed out and watching blue jays, pigeons, and ravens descend for a meal).

Positive lifestyle changes are something to be grateful for. In the first paragraph of the Introduction to my book Amazing, readers find me smoking a cigarette outside my home late at night while reflecting on my friend dying of cancer. It’s been nearly 60 days since I lit up a smoke. I can’t promise myself or anyone else that this lifestyle change will stick, but for now, I’m thankful. Sometimes, I don’t remember why I quit, as a big part of me enjoyed it. Then I remember my sense of smell and taste is returning, I’m not coughing up a lung, I don’t smell or taste like an ashtray anymore, and my husband is more apt to kiss me.

Of course, one of the biggest things I am always thankful for is the opportunity to write about the goodness of God in a new song or a column such as this. If I, of all people, can uniquely encourage folks in their walk of faith or plant even the tiniest of seeds towards the first steps thereof, then it must significantly speak to the graciousness of God, or at the very least, His sense of humor in often picking the unqualified to represent Him. Unlike the game of Pole Position, we don’t have to “Prepare to Qualify” before entering the big race. He promises to qualify everyone He chooses along the way.

His never-ending work of spiritual transformation is needed because, on every day ending with “y,” I still struggle with the use of profanity reminiscent of my soldier days (though the more I read my Bible, there is a decrease in cursing, and when my Bible reading tanks, F-Bombs rise – something to do with the “renewing of the mind”). I admit in my book Amazing that I do not possess the luxury of hiding my spiritual failings like, let’s say, a Christian with a pornography addiction viewing a screen of immoral images all from the comfort and privacy of their own home. Unfortunately, my sometimes atrocious language, like the prophet Isaiah, is entirely out in the open for all to hear.

The good news is that we are each covered in a peculiar grace to share His light. And despite seasons where we are a “hot mess” or “steeped high in dysfunction,” those in the faith will always have a seat at His table. I take pleasure in destroying all barriers that block the path to His Kingdom produced by organized religion, deeply flawed churches, and “modern-day Pharisees” with ridiculous rules, customs, and burdens Jesus never intended. He made following Him easy. Organized religion has complicated the matter. Anytime I am offered the chance to push religion back and bring Jesus to the forefront, I will, and this has not changed since the last time this column saw publication.

Now that everyone is up to speed, we will dive right into some encouragement next month.

I’ll close each column as before-

God is good! Always!