Pretend It’s a Forest

It has been over a month since I wrote my last column. Unfortunately, my work has been consuming most of my time—fortunately, I am employed. While complaining often borders on being ungrateful these days, I can’t wait to achieve a better work-life balance and enjoy mundane activities like cleaning the house or simply lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling, and savoring the privilege of being bored.

While not having enough time is often just an excuse—as with making time to write this column, for instance—we need to prioritize the remaining hours of the day to indulge in other enjoyable aspects of life that require little to no thinking at all, such as going for a hike, watching TV, or having a drink or two at St. Charles. This realization made me wonder: what other activities would I fill my time with if I weren’t completely mentally burdened? Well, dear reader, since you didn’t ask, here are the activities I would pursue—time permitting:

Downieville: The TV Show. Let’s be real; this town is filled with characters and situations that write themselves. This would, of course, be a comedy, think mockumentary style. And for obvious reasons, the real names of said characters would remain anonymous—copywriting is in the works.

Plotting to win next year’s chili contest. With one year in advance, thinking about the best strategy to win in 2026 should go beyond the perfect recipe. From becoming besties with the judges to figuring out the best tactics to bribe them, to creating a subdivision of awards. Chili is the limit.

Cleaning behind the fridge or stove. These spaces are usually the last thing that crosses your mind when cleaning up the house and probably haven’t been cleaned in decades. But just having the mental space to think about it must be fantastic.

As I finish writing this and continue fantasizing about having some downtime, the book that Carl lent me gently judges me as a reminder that it needs to be returned to its owner, so I better catch up with my reading—time permitting. But for now, locals, old-timers, newcomers, tourists, and visitors from other galaxies—let’s pretend that that time is indeed one of the most valuable things we have as humans. Therefore, spend and waste it wisely, especially when it comes to work. If you’re not in the business of saving lives, nothing is really that urgent.