The Person at the Front Door

I was thinking about the people we see routinely but peripherally in our lives, such as a doorman, a postal worker, or maybe the familiar face at the cash register in the grocery store. People with whom we are accustomed to seeing and exchanging a few pleasantries. So why is it that when they are gone, their absence has such a profound impact? I know it is a strange query of sorts. Much has to do with the circumstances of the absence. I read with dismay that on December 10th, the maître d’ at a local restaurant was picked up by ICE at a traffic stop in West Palm Beach. Jose, born in Mexico, was known to all the regulars, myself included, at Bice Restaurant in Palm Beach, where he had worked, with a valid work permit, for some 20 years. Apparently, the truck he was driving had tinted windows, which made it suspect and resulted in the arrest. Jose spent the next 12 days in a squalid ICE detention facility grimly labeled the Alligator Alcatraz. Patrons of the restaurant were outraged at the arrest, and a protest ensued. There was communication with Mar-a-Lago, just down the road, where many of the restaurant patrons are members, and Jose was unceremoniously released three days before Christmas. His absence from Bice had an unquestionable impact on the energy in the restaurant. The usual liveliness had an undercurrent of uncertainty, even fear, evident in some of the faces of the workers going about their jobs.

Another recent absence in my life is John Williams, who passed away over the holidays. He was the greeter and host at Flakowitz, the kosher deli I love in Boynton Beach. John would always seat me in a single and, with a smile, tell me to “enjoy the corned beef, Lenny.” There is no question that the experience of dining at Flakowitz is diminished by his absence.

My point in relating these incidents and losses is to focus on how some people in our daily lives are taken for granted. Science now tells us that these positive “micro” interactions with the ordinary folks we encounter– even strangers- contribute to a sense of well-being and help to stave off feelings of loneliness, which is now apparently an epidemic. So here’s to truly valuing these “peripheral” people in our lives and remembering why they really are important to us—and to treating them with graciousness and gratitude.