Just Words

Editor,

“Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”

But, words can and do hurt. “You’re fired!” Hurts. “You’re ugly, stupid, nothing, second class.” All are hurtful and meant to hurt.

There is an old game called telephone. It was really about whispers in chain succession with one sentence starting the game whispered in the ear of the person sitting next to the game initiator. It was funny to the participants, because the sentence became unrecognizable as it ended with the last person in the long chain of participants. A different serious game was played by Mr. Pulte, head of the Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac mortgage. He whispered words about Lisa Cook in Mr. Trump’s ear so she could be removed as a governor on the Federal Reserve Bank board.

Lisa Cook had words spoken about her integrity. Her job was in the balance. Mr. Pulte had words that he uttered to Mr. Trump: Lisa Cook cheated on her buying of two houses. Except she didn’t. The words were harmful and false. It was easy for Mr. Trump repeat those words and then demand that she be fired from her job, because that was the only way that her position could then be filled by a person more to the liking of Mr. Trump. Words can and do hurt, if used to hurt.

Words are the life and death of humans. There are last word and first words. Mama/dada are music to our ears from our babies. I love you/ I forgive you/ I am proud of you are words that cocoon us living on and us leaving in death. Words are our connection.

When I taught English as a Second Language to Viet Nam refugee adults, I came into a class where the previous teacher had taught them a mantra of one word: TRY. I have that stitched on a cloth pen holder worn about the neck for the forgetful teacher who would leave her pen in various places around the classroom. These students were shy and reluctant to make a mistake in the unknown language they were trying to learn to speak. Words would allow them to fit in and function in this, at times, surreal place they now found themselves. TRY was a word of connection and encouragement.

The ability to fit in is worked out in words. It is sometimes the difference between life and death. When words stop, life retreats or even stops. Words express the feelings that go before and after violent acts. Protests are full of words. It is when the words stop, that violence happens. I watched this with children who came to a special education class as preschoolers. The main goal was to help them have the words needed to tell us about themselves. What did they want? What did they need? How could they connect with us and the other preschool children? It all took words.

Words become ever more important as we humans add years and our world expands. How true it is of communities, jobs, religions, research, countries. When there is the use of words that are understood in the same way, people/humans can function, create, solve problems, and discover new vistas.

We can learn new words and change our words when they do not accomplish the connections needed. We learn tone and timing. We learn to adapt to another person’s way of communicating, their style. These are all done in face-to-face interactions for the healthiest and most productive exchanges. It is what we must do for a country that needs it as much as it ever did. We can allow words to give sustenance, security, grace.

Linda Guffin

Sierra County